英语笑话大集合 - 笑话分享 :: Joke Happy - 马来西亚独中联合论坛 | 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese

TheWind (六翼天使)

超级版主

墮落天使 = 瘋了

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#1

发表于 2006-11-3 12:47 AM 资料个人空间短消息加为好友

[广告]

英语笑话大集合

U*uF'A&^j*j}`#w

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
| 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |qm8_9hO4t
H.{T
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,ChineseJ$uG%h"P&J6I\0j

马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese
y"q'o,V7xug:SI
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"huawen.info8U^-H~)K&P

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"*B!q'i;]T2`\st

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

马来西亚独中联合论坛&aF1zz#U;fY

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese*tu\L1x&k)i7~
didn't have ten years ago. | 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |r5u2T
Mf)_\6x

s`)K/}8KBhuawen.infoWINNIE: Me!

马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese8n]W(V!g,Yp#srb
F}Lb,n9D)vh:mI
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."

MILLIE: I is...[UT'S%F1{aJY&Z
SL*yt+j~
N
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."马来西亚独中联合论坛7a;F/F0?]/e
P YW9I:Zpb-|gV"L
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."uAx D+s
R1Bz

@tw-Vo,J
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese6u1[{
Vs-HMN
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? | 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |FNp,y1w8C*g d

LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.

huawen.info;Tc5M;xv(q.H'[

v6Au)ruy|4^f
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
马来西亚独中联合论坛k2o,|MY$z
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SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

huawen.info7c!Tcx.}k
{
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese"|#nF*Z9LL6E}r0DM
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chineseo5E"H^F
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?#ed^z4NiQ
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese3Q k'pH Y
v*N8T
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog.

huawen.info7r7@3`+S*CV

]HG"Y
NVg$sj2}
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Z^/RwPG
HAROLD: A teacher

[广告]

TheWind (六翼天使)

超级版主

墮落天使 = 瘋了

UID 2
精华 4
积分 307
帖子 1568
威望 307
金钱 1902
辩论 47
阅读权限 150
注册 2006-10-1
来自疯人院
状态离线

#2

发表于 2006-11-3 12:50 AM 资料个人空间短消息加为好友

Two ghost met and both chat about how they died.
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese#S?6nC#v"v
1st ghost : how u died? | 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |K!X{?5y+]x6C${$w
马来西亚独中联合论坛'cIl.a6Km{-i3^@
2nd ghost : i died of cold
jw
s-L2~N3s

1st ghost : how does it feel when dying in cold?

2nd ghost : actually i was imprison in refrigerator. at first i was shivering, then my whole body started to frozen, later i felt the whole world was dark and i died. fortunately, i died with not much suffering.

1st ghost : what a pity for u.... 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinesetx:ZeS

2nd ghost : how about u? how u died? 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese{2O\0^G;I9Hh
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese!hG6WG
}5k~Q?!h{
1st ghost : i died of heart attack.

2nd ghost : i see, how u had a heart attack?

1st ghost : actually i found out that my wife is having an affair with another man. one day when i came back from work, i saw a pair of male shoes outside of my house. then i realized that the guy was in my house with my wife. when i rush into the bedroom, my wife was alone. i must find where that bastard is hiding. so i search the toilet, i ran downstairs, look in the storeroom, but the bastard was not found. so, i ran upstairs and search the wardrobe, but i found nothing. because i was too tired of running, i got heart attacked and died.马来西亚独中联合论坛&@A0H)_4Ty d/T
马来西亚独中联合论坛(T!nj-R@e/d|4Q;Y
2nd ghost : why not u look for the bastard in the fridge? if you did, both of us would be alive now!

[ 本帖最后由 TheWind 于 2006-11-3 12:51 AM 编辑 ]

Soulz

新手上路

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#3

发表于 2006-11-3 12:35 PM 资料个人空间主页短消息加为好友

Malaysia Free Banner Exchange - 马来西亚免费广告联盟 - 广告交换链增加网站人气

haha

evernine (I am a little pig)

版主

super pig

UID 13
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阅读权限 100
注册 2006-10-3
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状态离线

#4

发表于 2006-11-3 05:48 PM 资料个人空间主页短消息加为好友

[广告]

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?马来西亚独中联合论坛u;i3s!}M O
CLASS: Maria.马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese0[mu*w#V

这个很好笑~~

TheWind (六翼天使)

超级版主

墮落天使 = 瘋了

UID 2
精华 4
积分 307
帖子 1568
威望 307
金钱 1902
辩论 47
阅读权限 150
注册 2006-10-1
来自疯人院
状态离线

#5

发表于 2006-12-31 08:42 PM 资料个人空间短消息加为好友

Girls are still girls! 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese1H
HIA` _M6K
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChineseeK"@ \(e^2PE)Ds

BF : What do you want to eat??马来西亚独中联合论坛+bC2n"F:T)Lj
GF : Anything will do......lM }9f T
vD
BF : Ok, chicken rice then.
GF : But I don't feel like having rice leh.... | 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |$Mc7X)K^
BF : Ok, mee goreng then.....
GF : Don't want, too oily..... 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese
ShquJ9ar'W9L
BF : Fishball noddle soup....huawen.info+Dy;H;L8\8kk
GF : Yeeeee...So plain....
BF : Then what you want???马来西亚独中联合论坛{3e\^$C
GF : Anything lor.......huawen.info6g3mL-}J jP
马来西亚独中联合论坛9`/fbZ'Hl$Q
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
马来西亚独中联合论坛g}:d2Xf0}D
huawen.info

@LM7B
mAT
Me: What do you don't want to eat? Rice or
Noodles?马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese|W.{"H5z9y)J
Wife: Er..don't want rice
Me: Ok, so anything with noodles is fine? 马来西亚独中联合论坛$@m {xL
eJ
Wife: Yes
Me: Soup or dry?
Wife: Anything
['l\4k;it)w
huawen.info0vg6w
r^M"I
In the end, we still couldn't find out what she really wants.
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese1w8qxE[Cs
N
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChineseV"onBFlK C+h&^*z
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------马来西亚独中联合论坛#]R'G,hw[
K2y\

FK!_a8UFL
when going shopping with girl,

girl: (holding up two clothes) which one is nice?
boy: the blue one looks nicer
girl: is it? I thought the black one is more classy
boy: I agree, take the black one then
girl: But then, the blue one looks quite nice too 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChineseB.]C1YOCg
boy: yeah
girl: which one is better ? 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese KI+K,W;ni1T-j

if boy answer 'black', girl will say he keeps changing his mind and never shows sincererity and care 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese$D#v6L:qo

if boy answer 'blue', girl will say, " told you that the black one looks more class"马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChineseD3Rz
ZzX%x

But no matter what the boy says, the girl will eventually choose the one+UI
[+q;_'IHV%q
she has already decided beforehand. 马来西亚独中联合论坛2]&imkc/F['U7lc
A lot of the times, the girl might even put the two clothes back (after extensive trying) and says not interested anymore.
really don't know what shewants.huawen.infoN]n$cb

----------------------------------------------------------------

This is quite true but not totally. Not all the time girls are
like this. | 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |l z;C1Q4GcPd
马来西亚独中联合论坛-t*p8r{-Fn}
AGREE GALS OUT THERE WHO ARE READING THIS?!!

马来西亚独中联合论坛W0R4uN'Pl&s
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChineseDr5Yd)zYrEimV
[ 本帖最后由 TheWind 于 2006-12-31 08:44 PM 编辑 ]

TheWind (六翼天使)

超级版主

墮落天使 = 瘋了

UID 2
精华 4
积分 307
帖子 1568
威望 307
金钱 1902
辩论 47
阅读权限 150
注册 2006-10-1
来自疯人院
状态离线

#6

发表于 2006-12-31 10:20 PM 资料个人空间短消息加为好友

[广告]

MALAYSIAN DRIVER : Which one are you? N!szz,pB9W

1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:
IPOH driver. 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,ChineseJ,k.VDqq#Z.d8Yr0H

2. One hand on wheel, one hand out the window with cigarette:'~ cUt@uF&G
KEPONG driver. fwi9T:hchmml
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,ChineseC ~?-Q1m(hMV
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic:huawen.info@ob8f2@"od
DOWNTOWN KUALA LUMPUR driver.
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese"\#FCDFR+h#]8H
4. One hand on wheel, one hand on parang, foot solidly on accelerator:马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese6A
WH*_*M[q
JOHOR driver.

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, hands-free on the lap:
BANGSAR driver.

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror:
FOREIGNER, driving in MALAYSIA.
马来西亚独中联合论坛(md]YZunmM
7. One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, talking on cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic:马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinesepl(nRuV(J*H
SUBANG JAYA DRIVER.....on the Federal Highway!!! huawen.infoL.DZt;Vv.Of ?
| 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |.\pzD{
8. One hand on wheel, one hand on passengers head rest, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing rambutans or durian shells out the window: KARAK HIGHWAY ;
KUANTAN driver.
马来西亚独中联合论坛f8~jjJ9S7v
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese4x2JS[9t4XZ@
9. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, READY-TO-KILL attitude, rear window stickers read "Make my day", beer cans on floor, wedding ribbon still attached to antenna: CONSTRUCTION SITE....马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese&P)J'?}Hl/LF!xP
PUCHONG driver! huawen.info0Wg%I t6N\"OJE
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese,? f4[U0]b4K
10.One hand on the handphone, another hand picking nose, One leg on the dash board, another leg crossed on the seat with a beer can in the middle ~ turning anywhere he likes, parking anywhere he likes, in fact, driving anywhere he likes. aaahhh..... this is a heaven for drivers......
welcome to PENANG !
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese8E0L"[o7q]
11. Two hands gripping tightly to the wheel, eyes glued on the windscreen, alternately stepping on the accelerator and brakes every 5 seconds.
WOMAN DRIVER!

[广告]

kenogl (梦游者)

铜牌会员

梦の操控者

UID 3
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#7

发表于 2006-12-31 10:26 PM 资料个人空间短消息加为好友

回复 #6 TheWind 的帖子

这个笑话很讽刺