英语笑话大集合 - 笑话分享 :: Joke Happy - 马来西亚独中联合论坛 | 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese

TheWind (六翼天使)

超级版主

墮落天使 = 瘋了

UID 2
精华 4
积分 307
帖子 1566
威望 307
金钱 1942
辩论 47
阅读权限 150
注册 2006-10-1
来自疯人院
状态离线

#1

发表于 2006-11-3 12:47 AM 资料个人空间短消息加为好友

[广告]

英语笑话大集合

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,ChineseYZ5Bid0{.i7Llv
MARIA: Here it is.马来西亚独中联合论坛SfK/rKFN
| 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |5V$qcD7W
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChineseE
R7WfX}8\ L!q[A
u:`G.l;f8V;E;r
CLASS: Maria.

mF,p2wG
D[

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wronghuawen.info7}h6jfcI%ikm
huawen.info&s0V.M}(JXZ
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

| 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |-mb%XsQ\&]8GH

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinesep*]xO t$b)M
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.huawen.info(lkR]~YDH

TEACHER: What are you talking about?马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese7\
X1\}{~
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChinesehveS}
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

| 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |'?5{k QO1q5N

huawen.info+tA_Zy W
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we huawen.infouif^`(a+HK;]
didn't have ten years ago.马来西亚独中联合论坛j0ARGH

WINNIE: Me!

马来西亚独中联合论坛 vW-`Oa4uw7@

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese
N.NO$j;l {u$S$Q
f Q

MILLIE: I is...马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese;bRZK+\noB
马来西亚独中联合论坛#s
qp y
Vz$y6xa
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."huawen.infoz4G
r#d;Rmm
U

!{FNu5TJ?8G&P2HRhuawen.infoMILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

马来西亚独中联合论坛#v~
R2avl-G[}
| 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |4sg|F8J!I@*f`

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?;Ys7?4hx'h,L
huawen.info
Hhj{-h$ns\
H
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.

马来西亚独中联合论坛-ce
~Y*@EDD!]

马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChineseF,BkO-s6n tfk-|
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
huawen.info
s2Px PuWa
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog.

马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChineseEPVY5Hx)M
| 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |__,}~5s0fue

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? W~z0y[l
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese,C8fzOj9hr3j5F
HAROLD: A teacher

TheWind (六翼天使)

超级版主

墮落天使 = 瘋了

UID 2
精华 4
积分 307
帖子 1566
威望 307
金钱 1942
辩论 47
阅读权限 150
注册 2006-10-1
来自疯人院
状态离线

#2

发表于 2006-11-3 12:50 AM 资料个人空间短消息加为好友

Two ghost met and both chat about how they died. D d)H i quz
| 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |`0H+}TGt4]2\
1st ghost : how u died?

2nd ghost : i died of cold 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chineser(@y3^S/[

1st ghost : how does it feel when dying in cold? ]u%b)x|
| 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |7F8T aM%F I
2nd ghost : actually i was imprison in refrigerator. at first i was shivering, then my whole body started to frozen, later i felt the whole world was dark and i died. fortunately, i died with not much suffering.

1st ghost : what a pity for u.... 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinesew2}
b-YsPlJ4ES
1v K4~Po @(i2vJ
2nd ghost : how about u? how u died? huawen.infoI TS`DU

1st ghost : i died of heart attack. 8X a S|U+|,{,~xG

2nd ghost : i see, how u had a heart attack?

1st ghost : actually i found out that my wife is having an affair with another man. one day when i came back from work, i saw a pair of male shoes outside of my house. then i realized that the guy was in my house with my wife. when i rush into the bedroom, my wife was alone. i must find where that bastard is hiding. so i search the toilet, i ran downstairs, look in the storeroom, but the bastard was not found. so, i ran upstairs and search the wardrobe, but i found nothing. because i was too tired of running, i got heart attacked and died.
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese` Q}l%O#IO
2nd ghost : why not u look for the bastard in the fridge? if you did, both of us would be alive now!
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chineseu(X,A {u*M(i
[ 本帖最后由 TheWind 于 2006-11-3 12:51 AM 编辑 ]

Soulz

新手上路

UID 86
精华 0
积分 1
帖子 11
威望 1
金钱 21
辩论 0
阅读权限 10
注册 2006-10-11
来自地球
状态离线

#3

发表于 2006-11-3 12:35 PM 资料个人空间主页短消息加为好友

haha

evernine (I am a little pig)

版主

super pig

UID 13
精华 1
积分 427
帖子 5643
威望 427
金钱 1424
辩论 46
阅读权限 100
注册 2006-10-3
来自马来西亚的下霹雳的安顺
状态离线

#4

发表于 2006-11-3 05:48 PM 资料个人空间主页短消息加为好友

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese2n _E&N`@cQ
CLASS: Maria.
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChineseX1@g1|m(F["]
这个很好笑~~

TheWind (六翼天使)

超级版主

墮落天使 = 瘋了

UID 2
精华 4
积分 307
帖子 1566
威望 307
金钱 1942
辩论 47
阅读权限 150
注册 2006-10-1
来自疯人院
状态离线

#5

发表于 2006-12-31 08:42 PM 资料个人空间短消息加为好友

Girls are still girls!

马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese`|\?n/Jh8z?
BF : What do you want to eat??
GF : Anything will do......
BF : Ok, chicken rice then.
GF : But I don't feel like having rice leh.... 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChineseV.C'tG
C6Do
BF : Ok, mee goreng then.....马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChineseJZ$z(`T&K6^T
GF : Don't want, too oily.....
BF : Fishball noddle soup.... E'e0~f ^ S[p
GF : Yeeeee...So plain....huawen.info3E+|(O.[{\r4h
BF : Then what you want???
GF : Anything lor.......

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: What do you don't want to eat? Rice or
Noodles?
Wife: Er..don't want rice
Me: Ok, so anything with noodles is fine?
Wife: Yes
Me: Soup or dry?
Wife: Anything

In the end, we still couldn't find out what she really wants.马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChineseU"L+l+qX`9Ae
| 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |QX*~JE
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |6LF_UT+Uc/Wt
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
huawen.infoR*s/Js(wlf/F
huawen.info @P.L?6}:[
when going shopping with girl,马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese$yf5[,@*YM%h/S'_

girl: (holding up two clothes) which one is nice?
boy: the blue one looks nicer9E/R wuM+B|1| F
girl: is it? I thought the black one is more classy
boy: I agree, take the black one then | 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |j@'TG-Y
girl: But then, the blue one looks quite nice too
boy: yeah
girl: which one is better ? un!qL
c

if boy answer 'black', girl will say he keeps changing his mind and never shows sincererity and care 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese+bbbLkG
huawen.infoWJF#u,f9I-\:UX
if boy answer 'blue', girl will say, " told you that the black one looks more class"

But no matter what the boy says, the girl will eventually choose the one马来西亚独中联合论坛ZD3BHs;a
she has already decided beforehand. | 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |F^E5P#g3f
A lot of the times, the girl might even put the two clothes back (after extensive trying) and says not interested anymore.
really don't know what shewants.

----------------------------------------------------------------

马来西亚独中联合论坛6s2kOlVr-n1UM3B
This is quite true but not totally. Not all the time girls are | 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese | H"I/x@
Aq7E3`l*A
like this.

AGREE GALS OUT THERE WHO ARE READING THIS?!!

TheWind (六翼天使)

超级版主

墮落天使 = 瘋了

UID 2
精华 4
积分 307
帖子 1566
威望 307
金钱 1942
辩论 47
阅读权限 150
注册 2006-10-1
来自疯人院
状态离线

#6

发表于 2006-12-31 10:20 PM 资料个人空间短消息加为好友

MALAYSIAN DRIVER : Which one are you?
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese+y RL!dc,mu
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:
IPOH driver.
| 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |rt4xI'fU!Q5e*Q0d
2. One hand on wheel, one hand out the window with cigarette:
KEPONG driver.
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,ChineseS,|opkM+F6sLp0y
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic:马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,ChinesehZ$b|+IH2B)Q;v
DOWNTOWN KUALA LUMPUR driver.
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese@a+te:`5b]\
4. One hand on wheel, one hand on parang, foot solidly on accelerator:马来西亚独中联合论坛&V"VNsN \)Dv4K
JOHOR driver. 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen.Malaysia,Chinese|Ogd|

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, hands-free on the lap:
BANGSAR driver.

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror:
FOREIGNER, driving in MALAYSIA.
$dLu;Crn
7. One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, talking on cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic:
SUBANG JAYA DRIVER.....on the Federal Highway!!! | 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |!Mx6hV3mZZ}

8. One hand on wheel, one hand on passengers head rest, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing rambutans or durian shells out the window: KARAK HIGHWAY ;4k/f;K2eFm!C
KUANTAN driver. 马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese:XF HA}8TA3T3`c5~n
马来西亚华文独中联合论坛,独中生,独中校友,中学,华文教育,华文独中,BT,MP3,FOXY,Huawen,Malaysia,Chinese?D}PzX

9. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, READY-TO-KILL attitude, rear window stickers read "Make my day", beer cans on floor, wedding ribbon still attached to antenna: CONSTRUCTION SITE....马来西亚独中联合论坛lEm"sAPw
PUCHONG driver!

10.One hand on the handphone, another hand picking nose, One leg on the dash board, another leg crossed on the seat with a beer can in the middle ~ turning anywhere he likes, parking anywhere he likes, in fact, driving anywhere he likes. aaahhh..... this is a heaven for drivers...... | 独中生 | 独中校友 | 中学 | 华文教育 | 华文独中 | BT | MP3 | FOXY | Huawen | Malaysia | Chinese |R*T0w8a G`_
welcome to PENANG !

11. Two hands gripping tightly to the wheel, eyes glued on the windscreen, alternately stepping on the accelerator and brakes every 5 seconds.
WOMAN DRIVER!

kenogl (梦游者)

铜牌会员

梦の操控者

UID 3
精华 4
积分 1210
帖子 6531
威望 1210
金钱 47544
辩论 7
阅读权限 60
注册 2006-10-1
来自梦の启蒙国都
状态离线

#7

发表于 2006-12-31 10:26 PM 资料个人空间短消息加为好友

回复 #6 TheWind 的帖子

这个笑话很讽刺